An Old Story with a Party Johnson Perspective
Surprisingly, this story occurred in April 2016. How I managed to miss it until now is beyond me. A guy in Hong Kong named Ricky Ma built a robot. He made it look like Scarlett Johansson since she is pretty fucking hot. There is actual scientific data backing this up. He spent over $50,000 dollars on this thing, and it does look like a creepy ass version of Scarlett Johansson. There is little doubt in my mind this guy proceeded to bang the shit out of his robot. I mean why make it look like Scarlett Johansson otherwise?
If you watch the myriad of videos on this—all of shitty quality or part of a list of more garbage—you’ll really experience the “Uncanny Valley” effect this robot had. I’d be surprised if any warm blooded man still had an erection after this:
Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised. There are some weird ass people out there. I’m sure one of them would find that sort of facial gymnastics hot. Don’t get me wrong: Scarlett Johansson is very hot. But the whole notion of fucking a robot is still weird to me—and I’m pretty much down for everything.
Optimism for the Future
This creepy tidbit does give me some hope for the future. Current robots are weird as fuck, but future robots? Maybe not. Imagine if you will, a future where we build these sex slaves that look just like real famous women (or men for the females.) You can put in zero effort into the relationship, and get what you want. It seems amazing! Right now I gotta take out my significant other and do shit I don’t want to do with her (and pretend to enjoy it) for the chance to have sex. You read that right, all for a chance. She could have a headache after all this effort and it’s blue balls for old Party Bus. Now imagine doing none of that shit and scoring with a robot that looks like any model you want.
That’s a future we can all look forward to.