Anatomy of a Scalper – What Makes These Shitty People Tick?

Profile photo of Party Bus Johnson

It’s the holidays, and I am pissed. I’m pissed because:

  1. I’m always fucking pissed.
  2. Scalpers.

But you’re all like, “Party Bus, slow down. Scalpers aren’t so bad…” The fuck they ain’t! Check out this example below:

nintendo 3ds rip off

Exhibit A

That’s $235 for something that costed $100! Why do they do this? What drives these vermin of people to do these things? Money! It’s fucking money! There are less asshole ways to make money you know! I would say not to buy these things to fight them off, but the truth is some of these collector’s items are simply too cool. How can one say that the Majora’s Mask Skull Kid is not cool? When it launched it was $50 and sold out right away. At the time (and even now) it was “good luck finding it at that price anywhere.” I truly hope that horrific things karma has in store for scalpers happen immediately. They are ruining the beautiful art of collecting.

Video Games Are Hit the Hardest

The video game market is the one hit the hardest by these assholes. Particularly Nintendo, as they have a penchant for under-producing their hardware or collector’s editions and doing jack shit to fix it. At least on the Amiibo front, things have gotten a lot better as of late. As a general rule: if it’s collectible and it’s from Nintendo, you better fucking buy it. Otherwise, prepare to be pissed off. It shouldn’t have to be this way, but it is. It’s the harsh reality we have to live with.

anatomy of a scalper

A scalper in his natural habitat

There is an excellent petition to fight Amiibo scalpers on I would suggest to everyone to sign it as soon as possible. It’s a little dated, but could still use support.  We need to fight this!

fuck scalpers

Courtesy of Change.Org


Showing 3 comments
  • Profile photo of
    Khachaturian the Martyr

    I happen to be one of those who benefits from buying early. If you don’t like the practice, then don’t participate. It’s that simple. You’re simply an idiot.

    • Profile photo of Party Bus Johnson
      Party Bus Johnson

      It’s not buying early, it’s the fact that shit-faces buy all of the stock to sell it at a premium. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a scalper as well. Scalpers tend to be trolls as well.

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  • […] articles, the man is a total jackass. I attempted to remain silent on the issue, but earlier today, he released an article claiming that scalpers are the problem in the video game industry. This is incorrect. The problem with the video game industry is that people like @partybusjohnson69 […]

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